"You know when you have something on your mind and you think you know the answer, but something holds you back from asking the question that would give you the clarity that you need. Then you start thinking about all the possibilities, and maybe you start to think that the one thing you want to ask, the answer you want to hear will be the right one. You can convince yourself for a while, but there is always the shadow of doubt, always the spectre of rejection. In time the shadow grows larger eroding the confidence that you had in your previous certainty. Then food becomes grey and un-appetising and sleep becomes a listless daydream as you become haunted by that shadow. Then you realise that you have to know, no longer can you live with half certainties and the need to know overcomes the fear of rejection, and then you start to wonder how can you ask that question? Your mind begins to race with a thousand different possibilities all at once, some hopeful, and some tragic, but they have all led me to this point." As he finished speaking he took a sip of cocoa.
I had an idea of where this was leading, but I thought I would let him finish before I saying my piece, as a lot of what he said was making a lot of sense to me. He was explaining how I felt about him, and my assumption was that this was how he felt about me too. He wanted to ask me a question, but was afraid of the answer. I almost laughed at the absurdity of it, that this gorgeous hunk of man could be afraid of anything that I could say.
Stay tuned for chapter 3 :)