Gen 1 - Chapter 19: Broken-hearted Girls.

We all sat at the dining table ready to tell the girls about Billy's illness. The tension in the room was unbearable. Claude's eyes were red and puffy, I knew he'd been up most of the night crying. The saddest thing was that I had no way to comfort him. We had built this family from nothing, just two strangers who met outside the library, and now one of the pieces was being taken away. Now I was aware of Billy's condition I could see that he seemed to be getting older by the day, or maybe it was my mind playing tricks on me, in truth I hadn't slept well either.

It had rained constantly since Billy had first told us, it was as if the heavens felt sad as well. The sky cried outside and we cried inside. I had never seen the girl's looks so distraught. Billy explained as kindly as he could, his voice breaking with emotion. I longed to hear laughter in my house again.

The explanation didn't take very long, I made everyone some hot drinks, mostly to give myself a break from the crying faces. I would have time to cry later, but now I needed to be strong. Claude had been my rock for as long as I can remember, it was time I re-payed that kindness.

I came back into the dining room with a tray of drinks, and we discussed preparations for the next few weeks. Tomorrow Billy was seeing his solicitor to draw up his will, as Claude had told him that obviously the will he had in France wouldn't really make much sense giving all that had changed in the last year or so. I said that when the time came I would handle all of the funeral arrangements, as I knew Claude would not be in the right frame of mind to make decisions.

The last and most important thing was to move some of our things into Billy's bungalow as Claude wanted to spend as much time with Billy before he left our lives for good. The girl's seemed happy enough to be given more responsibility, obviously I wished it could have been under better circumstances. Even though we had started this family meeting just after dinner daylight had disappeared long before our conversation had finished. With it being so late, Billy stayed in the guest bedroom, and everyone went off to bed. Nobody wanted to say goodnight or really talk to each other, I think everybody just wanted to be alone with their own thoughts. I could hear one of the girls crying as I shut our bedroom door, and I knew that there was not a dry eye in the house.

Claude got a call early this morning, with the heavy rainfall over the last week some of the low lying houses were in danger of flooding, so the entire police force and the army and the a legion of volunteers had been drafted in to make sandbags to shore up the river line. By the time Billy and the girls had woken Claude was already gone, any other day or situation and I knew that both the girls and I would be down by the river togged up in thick coats and wellie boots lending a hand. The thought almost brought a smile to my face, almost.

No one really had an appetite for breakfast, Billy was under strict doctors orders to make sure that he ate something at every meal, even if he wasn't hungry to help his body continue to fight. The girls both seemed a little in shock, as if they were expecting to have woken up and found out that it was all a bad dream. They had identical expressions on their faces. My girls, so different and yet so very very similar.

Billy said his goodbyes and Lily said that she wasn't ready to say goodbye, and offered to drive Billy to the solicitor's and then home. Lyra would be staying with me to help me pack mine and Claude's things.

It was surprising how much of your life you could fit into a cardboard box. The things we were taking were packed in the back of my car. I felt sad to be leaving the house and I wondered how long it would be before we came back. Ideally I should have been using this time to unpack at Billy's, but for some reason I could not stop myself just wandering around the house touching a picture frame or a vase, everything seemed to be moving so fast, it seemed like only yesterday when we left for our honeymoon. Would I ever feel that happy again.

As I sat on the porch I sent Claude a text telling him that me and Lyra had finished packing and were about to leave for Billy's. We got some takeout food on the way, I rang Billy to ask what he and Lily wanted. I didn't really taste my meal, no one was really eating with much enthusiasm. Billy's spare room was large enough to accommodate all the things I had brought, and with both the girls helping me unpack, it didn't take much time at all.

I felt like a boat in a stormy sea. I was adrift in a sea of decisions, only a few of which I had chosen myself. There seemed to be more and more things happening that I had no control over. I wanted Claude in my arms and my family happy.

The girl's left about 10 minutes after Claude arrived at Billy's, again nobody was very keen on the word goodbye. I felt drained. I had an early bath, read for a while and then headed off to bed leaving Claude and Billy chatting. As I drifted off to sleep my thoughts turned to the girls, and I wondered what they were doing on their first real night alone............ .

Stay tuned for chapter 20 to find out how the girls are getting on :)