Gen 3 - Chapter Eleven: Where Are The Butterflies?

The house was finished a couple of hours before Jasper was due home and it looked really good. Alex did a fantastic job of tiling the bathrooms for me. After the awkwardness had disappeared everything was great, we were talking like we used to and laughing like old times. I got to learn a lot about the person he had become and I must say I really respected him for changing his life so much, for the better. We arranged to meet later at the park after Jasper had finished School, I had decided to work from home today. I only had a couple of phone calls to make and a few files to process and I was done for the day, so I could also use a few hours to catch up on sleep as we had stayed up all night finishing the house.

I made a picnic lunch to take, changed into a new top and shorts, and left to collect JayJay. Alex was already waiting for us, thankfully I had told JayJay that we were meeting a friend of mine. He seemed OK with it at first, but as soon as Alex said hi to him he started crying and said he wanted to go home. I explained everything was OK, and that Alex had wanted to meet him as I had told him so much about him. He stopped crying and after a cuddle seemed to calm down.

I watched as Alex pushed him on the swing set, pride beaming from his face. Jasper was giggling loudly and I could tell he was enjoying himself immensely. I knew JayJay was going to be happy to learn Alex was his Father, something he desperately needed. I could only teach him so much, and not the things a boy needs to learn, those things can only come from a Father.

We ate our picnic and just enjoyed the rest of the evening until it started getting dark. Jasper rubbed his eyes, it would be soon time for him to go to bed, so I asked Alex if he would like to walk us home.

By the time we arrived home the stars where shining brightly in the sky and Jasper had fallen asleep in Alex's arms, it was so sweet. He only falls asleep on people he feels safe with, so I guess it was a good sign. Alex beamed as I told him that I could see Jasper had accepted him and that if things continued to progress I would tell Jasper that he was his Dad soon.

After settling Jasper in bed I walked Alex to the door, thanking him for this afternoon.

"It's nice to see JayJay so happy, especially with someone he doesn't know very well. He's never like this with new people, he must really like you." I said.

"Thank-you for giving me the chance to prove myself, you don't know how much it means."

I could see tears glistening in his eyes as he spoke.

"Oh.. I think I do. Erm... do you want to come to his acting audition Saturday afternoon? He has to go to Mum's straight after as I have a date but I'm sure he would like to see you there."

" I would love to, thanks for inviting me. Oh.. a date, he's a really lucky guy."

I could see the disappointment in his eyes as her said those few words.

I explained that I wasn't doing this to hurt him, technically we were only friends so I could see whomever I wanted to, and so could he. I told him I hadn't forgot what he had said and I hoped he could understand. He simply smiled, took my hand, and said...

"Honestly it's fine Kay, I don't mind. I'm more than happy to just be in your life, it's more than I deserve so I'm not going to complain. See you Saturday."

With that he walked off up the path, looking back a few times as he did.

My week passed quicker than usual, work was unusually boring and Jasper was still visiting his friends house after School, leaving me with a couple of hours to kill in the evening before I had to pick him up. I had taken up painting in those few hours to myself and although I wasn't very good I really enjoyed it, it seemed to de-stress me. Jasper had a couple of my paintings in his newly decorated room, he seemed to love my art.

The morning of his audition he seemed a little off, I think it was just nerves. I reassured him as best as I could, and told him Alex was also going to be there. He and Alex had been spending quite a bit of time together when he got home and had become quite close. I told him a few nights ago who Alex really was and he seemed to be taking it really well, although he wasn't quite ready to call Alex dad. It was all new to him, and I knew it would only be a matter of time before he felt he knew him well enough to call him Dad.

The audition room was really busy, there were about 8 other children there auditioning for the show. Jasper seemed really nervous, and I thought it might help if we went through his lines again while waiting. He made a few mistakes, but I think it was just from the nerves and hoped he would be OK once he was in the room.

We were there for about an hour before Jasper's name was called. The audition itself only lasted a few minutes and he done fantastically, only made one mistake and the scouts seemed to be very impressed with him. We were told that it would take a couple of weeks for them to choose and inform all of the parents as to whether or not their child made it through. Because he had done so well we took him to the toy store to choose a toy, he chose a bright red fire truck.

Alex walked us home and stayed to play with JayJay while I packed his things ready to go to Mum's. Mum arrived twenty minutes later, she wasn't happy that I had let Alex back in our lives so easily, but I told her I believed what he said and that he was sorry. This was also his last chance, if he made one mistake he was out. I watched as Jasper hugged him and said goodbye before I made sure he was strapped in Mum's car, kissing him and waving as they drove off.

"Thanks for today, I appreciate it. I'll call you tomorrow to arrange another time for me to come see Jasper. Enjoy your date, and I hope you find what you're looking for. You deserve to be happy."

I let a small giggle as I said "Thank-you, I'll try, I haven't been on a date for a while. See you later."

I headed back inside to hop into the shower. I had already chosen my outfit, a simple pale blue dress with a white cardigan and a pair of sandals. We were meeting at 6PM at the Bistro for a meal. I had a nice long hot shower, dried my hair and applied my make-up before getting my outfit on. I booked a Taxi and gave the house a little tidy while I waited.

I arrived at the Bistro before Brad, so I ordered myself a drink and waited at the bar. I had just finished my drink when I felt a small tap on the shoulder, I turned round to see Brad standing there looking very handsome in a dark grey suit. We ordered our drinks and meals and made small talk while we waited. I found out that Brad was incredibly clever, he had more than a few degrees. He loved to listen to classical music, and try new things. His favourite hobby's were photography and Skiing in the Swiss Alps, he went at least twice a year. I told him all about myself and Jasper, the things I did and didn't like.

We were getting on really well until about half way through the meal when I realised... there was no connection, no fireworks, nothing. Where were the butterflies? It was then I knew, it didn't matter who I dated. There would be no butterflies. There was only one man who could awake the butterflies and those feelings with just a look, a touch of the hand, just by being in the same room. That man was Alex. It was then that I knew what I had to do, I made my apologies and left money for my half of the meal on the table before hailing a Taxi.

As I approached his front door I willed my feet to carry on walking, still unsure if I could do this... confess everything to him, open my heart again. Trust him to help heal it and not shatter it into a thousand tiny pieces again. I slowly lifted my hand and knocked twice.

He answered the door, shirtless and all doubts were instantly replaced by lust.

"Kay.. everything OK? You look worried?"

"Yeah, everything's fine... can I come in? I need to talk to you."

"Sure."

I followed him inside and prepared for one of the hardest nights of my life.

Stay tuned for chapter 12 :D