5 Dec 2010

Gen 2 - Chapter 21: Understanding How It Should Have Been.

Consciousness is like sand, the harder you try and hold on to it, the more it seems to slip between your fingers. You hear snatches of conversations, but are unable to determine whether they are dreams or reality. Medical jargon and electronic beeps fill your mind, the quest for the truth can become maddening. Flashes of preceding events mix with memories long passed. Movements, no matter how minor, send spasms of pain arching through your nervous system. Acknowledgement is the first step on the road to recovery, however if the mind is unable to comprehend then how can the mind acknowledge? Can the healing process be completed laying in a hospital bed?


".....Caught over by Eugi's......"


Voices, are they talking to me? My mind is a prison, a prison devoid of life. I scream and no one hears me. I scream and no one comes. Every direction is a wall, there are no doors, no windows, no lights, and no hope. But, if they can't hear me........how can I hear them?


".....bag of pills, flick knife...."


Why won't they leave me alone? I came here to escape. If I brought myself here, how did I get in, there is no door? Did I bring myself here? Or did I....how did I...?


".....Was she mixed up in?....."


Who is she? Who are the voices? Why am I here? The walls never end, the voices never stop. I reach out to touch the wall, as my hand nears I feel heat. My fingers start to tingle. The heat turns to pain, blinding white hot pain. Every fibre in my being is screaming, and I pull my hand away from the wall.


".....Pimps and people traffickers....."


As I withdrew my hand I was encapsulated in a cold, deafening silence. I needed to hear the voices, to feel the tug of humanity. I had to fight the pain. This time I didn't reach out my hand, I threw myself against the wall, and I screamed. I wanted to stop, I needed to stop. The pain threatened to overwhelm me, threatened to rip my soul to pieces. I screamed, and they heard me.


The doors of the hospital room opened and footsteps ran. My vision, cloudy at first, came to me. I saw my family and I felt safe. I saw concerned, anxious faces, and I saw tears. Doctors hurried in, checking machines and clipboards. I tried to move, but my body was dead to my wishes. I assumed high volumes of sedatives and tranquilisers, which meant I was pretty badly hurt.


After the doctors had left Granddad excused himself to phone the rest of the family to tell them of my awakening. I turned red as Mum explained in a broken voice what she knew about that night. I began to build an explanation in my mind, but she told me she didn't need to hear it. Dad fetched me a glass of water and poured a little into my mouth. It is the first time I have seen them happy to see me for what seemed like forever.


In the weeks that followed I began to change, firstly little things, like my hairstyle. As my confidence grew, so did my accomplishments. I got myself a part-time job at Sharma's Day Spa, which paid for a whole new wardrobe. However, what I am most proud of is my growing parental skills. My epiphany of responsibilities is starting to shape who I am becoming. I have left behind the tart and I am becoming a woman. My life is regular, bed before eleven, awake at seven, three square meals a day. My alcohol intake is now an occasional glass of wine at dinner with the family. I go to the gym three times a week, my life is regular, my life is dull. I feel contented, but not complete. I have put my longing for Alex out of my mind, I am desperate for Jasper to react to me in the same way he does to Mum. Even though she has now taken a backseat and only helps when I ask, whenever he cries only her arms can soothe him. I know it is my fault and for that I am full of regret.


I know that Jasper is the most important thing in my life, I just wish he would realise it. I can't help but feel envious of Mum, and yet I know that without her, I wouldn't be able to hold my baby in my arms, and I will forever be grateful.



As a thank-you to Mum and Dad, using some of my salary, I have booked them a weeks holiday in Champs Le Sims. This is for two reasons, the first is selfish. Jasper needs to bond with me, and I think without Mum in the house he might stand a better chance, I have also booked that same week off work, so I can watch the twins and do lots of Mummy and baby activities with Jasper. The second is more altruistic, I want to thank them for everything, otherwise I wouldn't have had a life to have a second chance at.


As I watched Mum and Dad's taxi vanish down the road I couldn't help but feel apprehensive, would I be able to be the Mum I should have been from the start? I felt alive, happy, and healthy. But I knew that until Jasper looked at me like I was the only person in the world and call me Mummy, that I would never feel whole. Then I heard him cry.....


Stay tuned for chapter 22 :D

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yay! Kayleigh always returns! Although I'm not so sure about the week off....
But what I'm wondering is- if Kayleigh is a young adult?

-Juezy :D [AKA feakincatnomilk]

strelitzia19 said...

Thanks, yes, it seems as if she is finally getting her life together and wanting to be a Mum to her son. Yes she is a YA, she aged up in chapter 19, but is was written into the story so that it was very subtle, she has kinda grown as a person and a life stage all in one, if you get what I mean :D

Thea said...

I am so glad she is ok and not only recovering from her ordeal but growing into the life she should have been having

M.J. said...

Wow, a really awesome chapter. Love the narration and screen shots. They are gorgeous.

strelitzia19 said...

Thanks Thea :D

Thank-you M.J. I'm glad it came across how I was hoping it would :D

Anonymous said...

Juezy again~
Speaking of screenshots, I HAVE to know where you get your sim's hair!

strelitzia19 said...

I get most of my hair from either peggy, newsea, anubis, and my blue book. :D

starling68 said...

I'm glad that Kayleigh has recovered and has 'left the tart behind'. I'm sure that she will bond with Jasper, it will just take some time.
Great chapter! :)

Jojo777 said...

I'm glad Keyleigh's life is turning around! It's awful that something like that had to happen, but I'm glad she understands what's important now!

I can't wait to see what happens next (and see Jasper as a toddler, I'm sure he'll be adorable)!

strelitzia19 said...

@ Starling, Thanks, yes, it will just take time to bond with him, he is still only a baby which will make it easier :D

@ Jojo, thanks, there will be another chapter before you see him as a toddler, the next one is the last of this generation :D

ay2cee said...

Great update Kim! It's great to know Kay is better now! =D Though I hope she and Jasper can bond ^u^

strelitzia19 said...

Thanks Alex ^_^

EuphorialQueen said...

Very gripping chapter full of angst and self discovery.

strelitzia19 said...

Thank-you for reading and commenting EQ :D

TheDuskwood Legacy said...

YAY she's ok! :)

Great chapter I'm glad she pulled through with no lasting effects and is trying to get her life back on track.

Cami said...

I'm glad she's okay and even more glad that she has started trying to bond with Jasper and really be his mum. And good job Lyra for knowing to take a step back and let Kay try :D

merrywiddow said...

Great chapter. Full of hope for the future.

Hugzies said...

awww, Finally a little normality and happiness. Knight in shining armor please?

jen said...

what a wonderful chapter. The first part really drew me in, it was written so well. :) I'm glad Kay is finally getting back to normal and trying to bond with her baby. Thank goodness she recovered from those injuries too. :)

Great update as always! :D

strelitzia19 said...

Thanks guys <3

Berry said...

Hope she continues to heal. Poor soul.

strelitzia19 said...

Thanks berry :D

Welcome To The Stone Family Blog.


I would like to introduce you to my founder, Jenna Stone and her husband Claude Stone.


Jenna's traits are:

Born Saleswoman

Eco-friendly

Bookworm

Family Orientated

Artistic

Her favourite's include:

Pop

Waffles

Aqua

Jenna is an artistic person, and can always be found painting her worries away. She wants a big family, she say's a home filled with laughter is the place to be. When she isn't painting she can be found either out in the garden or at the library reading. Being Eco-friendly she likes to recycle, take quick showers and just generally take care of the planet. She still remembers the first day she met Claude like it was yesterday. He was walking past as she left the library, and her being the bookworm that she is had her head stuck in her favourite book and bumped into him. Claude caught her and as their eyes met they instantly felt the attraction towards one another, and from that day they never left each others side.


Claude's traits are:

Family Orientated

Schmoozer

Charismasitic

Athletic

Ambitious


His favourites include:

Pop

Autumn Salad

Irish Green

Claude is very athletic, most days he can be found working out at the gym or with his family.He is also very charismatic and loves to make friends and meet new people. He is very career orientated and because he is a schmoozer he makes friends with colleagues very quickly. He is very family orientated and would love 4 or 5 children. He has always wanted a large family and never thought it would be possible until he met Jenna. He and Jenna were engaged within 6 months of meeting, they had a whirlwind romance and neither could imagine life without the other.





What will the future hold for the Stone's.